Dealing With Setbacks – Failed Driving Test

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Guess who was the butt of jokes from both friends & family?! After multiple failed attempts, a hell of a lot of money spent, numerous tears shed and many setbacks, I have finally passed!

Why on earth did it take you so long?! Well, I wanted to focus on A levels and my degree, so postponed learning to drive until I was more settled, with fewer distractions. Summer 2015 I began my search for driving instructors and stumbled upon Darren’s* website. I was blown away by the incredible ratings, many of which were given by people I knew. Although expensive, I decided to go ahead as the reviews were so good. I mean, you get what you pay for, right? I was wrong.

The first Lesson

Of course, like many inexperienced learner drivers, I was awful! Like walking, it is paramount to learn the basics before you can run. My first lesson involved driving on national speed limit roads, with roundabouts etc. I was thrown in at the deep end, which isn’t ideal! That first lesson, many expletives were directed at me. I swerved, stalled, cried and nearly had numerous accidents. It didn’t really get much better after that.

Once, with tears streaming down my cheeks, blurry eyed, borderline hyperventilating, I raced at break neck speed up to a very busy roundabout. I managed to hesitate, then stall spectacularly, right in the middle of traffic, causing many cars to screech to an abrupt halt to miss hitting me. My rather po faced examiner was far from impressed!

Failure isn’t an option

Third time lucky? I wish. After driving so well I was certain I had passed, and overcome with emotion I managed to exceed the speed limit in the last minute and failed, of course…

I improved marginally but was told, repeatedly, just how fabulous a driver I was and how I should pass my test in no time. My poor dad also gave me lessons (which I don’t advise, purely because you can fall into bad habits, not adhering to ‘test’ conditions!) where I picked up conflicting information and methods of doing things, eg. parking! So, after a few months of appalling driving, I was rushed into a driving test which of course I failed MAGNIFICENTLY! The funny thing was, although I knew deep down I wasn’t ready and with parents concerned that I wasn’t up to standard, I didn’t think to cancel it. When you are repeatedly told how great a driver you are, you start to believe it!

Trust Your Gut

I had more driving tests, more failures, more shouting, swearing and conflicting advice from Darren, my driving instructor. Darren was bad tempered, rude, impatient and often made me cry. The perfect example really of how not to teach pupils. My driving lessons always started late. He was incredibly unreliable. On one test day, he turned up 30 mins late, cutting short my practise time beforehand. On another occasion I told him 2 months in advance I had found a test date, which he agreed to & gave me the appropriate lessons. Then, a week before, Darren states he’s double booked. Because of staff shortages and increased demand, I had to postpone my driving test for 3 months. Pissed off? Yeah. By this point I was more than test ready.

Perfect driver & rock bottom self-esteem

6 months later I was a perfectly good driver. However, much to my annoyance, nerves got the better of me, ensuring I made mistakes I would never normally make! Psychologically, I associated that test centre with negative thoughts of failure. I even contemplated hypnotherapy!

New driving instructor, different test centre & positive outlook!

I decided I needed a change pronto. Armed with a friend’s recommendation, I found a new driving instructor, Patrick* who was an absolute breath of fresh air! He retaught me a few things, instantly put me at ease, knew my confidence was rock bottom but quickly and effectively built it back up! I failed again in a different test centre due to nerves. I was in a state; I cried halfway through the test, but my driving was near perfect! A month later, I passed!

I was inspired to write my experience after reading oxjane – who failed 7 times. The thoughts and emotions she expressed, the sadness and the frustration really propelled me to carry on. It motivated me because, believe me… I was very close to giving up! Living where I live, transport links aren’t the best. The lack of freedom meant it was so much harder to organise socialising with friends, going to the gym and being spontaneous!

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and advice in the comments below.

Love Career Girl!

xoxo

New Mantra: Trust the Universe!

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So the past week, and, well, month, has been pretty shitty. I’ve been stressed, I’ve put a tad bit of weight on, have felt like an unmotivated, worried and depressed SLUG if I’m being perfectly honest. Those who know me well will know why… but it has enabled me to think A LOT about everything really.

It’s made me realise a lot about friendships, amongst other things. When the chips are down you find out who your real friends are, the ones who will defend and fight for you in your absence. The friends who, no matter whether it 3pm or 3am, are there for you when you’re crying down the phone, sad. They will tell you how it is, be brutally honest but unbelievably caring.

I have wonderful, quality, vivacious, inspirational and hilariously sarcastic friends who I am so lucky to have. Regardless of whether we text daily or whether we sporadically spend the afternoon and evening chatting away over a cocktail, or several, the fact I know they are there makes me so happy. Such a shame all my college and university friends are dotted all over the globe, but it makes me appreciate the fantastic friends that I have, of which I can count on my fingers, even more I guess.

Facebook friends aren’t the be all & end all

It’s remarkable how when I was younger and more naïve and consumed with wanting to fit in, I was obsessed with the number of Facebook friends I had – at one stage I had over 1000! I’m 22 and although I’m not exactly old, I feel like I have grown up so much since then. I have deactivated my Facebook and prefer to spend my time and energy on my ‘real’ friends, the ones who have been there through thick and thin. A year ago I made a conscious effect to abandon the negativity, the fickle friends and the ones who used me for personal gain, invites to parties or to bail on me at the drop of the hat for a better event, their boyfriend or whatever the flavour of the month was.

Only recently have I felt truly ‘myself’ you know? And I have my lovely, supportive friends to thank for that!

Ridding Fake & Fickle Friends

It hasn’t been easy letting go of childhood, fickle and horribly fake friends. There comes a time when there is no longer much say, less things in common and life goes in different directions. Sometimes, the one person who you thought would be there for you, you’re best friend, who once knew everything about you, is merely a stranger now.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes, things happen for a reason. The fickle friend teaches you to seek out better quality friends. That boy who mistreated who you makes you hunt for a loyal and loving guy, and working a job you hate can propel you to find your dream job.

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes, it may not work out now, but it will soon. So trust the universe!

Love Career Girl,

xoxo