How to deal with an Office Bully

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The Office Bully comes in many different forms. From the slimy snake that steals your sales, to the office gossip who creates rumours behind your back, to the jealous, incompetent one, who’ll do everything in their power to get you fired. And, if you are a new graduate and naïve to the game, or an experienced soul, at some point in your life, whether you like it or not, you’ll come across at least one of the above.  No matter if you’re dealing with subtle Sandy or backstabbing, bitchy, Becky, there are things you can do to protect yourself and succeed despite the surrounding negative vibes.

If you think you are dealing with an Office Bully there are a multitude of options to stay ahead of the game.

Speak Up

Hopefully, there is someone in the organisation you work for who you feel comfortable enough to divulge details of your office bully’s actions. It could be a fellow co-worker, or, preferably HR. Think hard about what the office bully has done, or said, or even what they haven’t said. Have they purposely left you out of an important email? Have they taken credit for your hard work? Have they talked down to you or purposely tried to intimidate you? All these little things can accumulate easily and quickly, and, if you are not careful, can spiral out of control. It’s important to try and spot it and be aware of it in the early stages. Once you have started the process of verbally documenting the issues, it will be easier to voice a formal complaint later down the line, if you so wish.

Log It

Unless you have evidence, it’s often just your word against theirs; which is why it is so important to build a network of trust and communication. It’s no doubt a tricky, awkward situation, but it’s paramount to try and gain as much evidence as possible. Keep a log. Every backhanded comment, passive aggressive attitude or general patronising that’s come your way needs to be noted and logged. Who said it? When? How? Did anyone else hear it? If the above is committed via emails or texts, take screenshots. Try and be as neutral as possible.

Rise above it

Aggravating the situation doesn’t help and can often make things worse. You may want to give as good as you get, but try and stay calm, neutral and above all, professional. At the end of the day, you are there to work. So work your arse off and focus on doing well. Use that negative energy and turn into positive energy to propel you forward. Work harder then you’ve worked. Things do get better. Rise above it. Be mature. People want to see you do well, never better than them. Pay close attention to those who don’t praise you or congratulate you on your achievements; who instead will try and undermine and stifle your accomplishments. You are so much better. So succeed.

Success is the best revenge, right?

I hope you enjoyed this post, if you have ever experienced an Office Bully, either a co-worker or boss do, let me know. How did you cope? And what advice would you give?

Good Luck!

 

Love Career Girl xo

Bitchy Bosses & Manipulative Managers

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We’ve all had that boss from hell, right?

Many of the horrible bosses I’m about to describe are from personal experience! These individuals have taught me so much – mainly, how not to manage people! The individuals described below have had serious complaints made about them, resulting in eventual dismissal. Rightfully so! However, it is staggering just how many are still in a position of power. Having studied Occupational Psychology & covering aspects of it within my dissertation, I find it interesting, but also slightly depressing!

People may hate their jobs, but hate managers more

I think it’s so true that individuals don’t leave a workforce as such, they leave because of their manager! The results from my own research were alarming, 100% of my participants HATED their job!

In the past I have definitely hated some jobs because of a manager! Sometimes it’s not really their fault as such. Some individuals unfortunately just aren’t born leaders. Incompetent managers seem to be pretty common. Some don’t seem to have a clue how to do their job, others are unable to make a rota a week in advance. Few just don’t command respect, and view work as play and muck about in front of customers, which is incredibly childish, embarrassing and unprofessional. Some managers are plain detrimental to your career and personal well-being!

Bitchy Bosses

I once had a boss called Betty*…. who was a BITCH! Why? In Occupational Psychology we touched on this aptly named concept, coined the ‘Queen Bee’ boss. Having a female boss is probably worse than having a horrible male boss. Possibly (from my experience anyway) because girls are a lot more subtle, shall we say. This particular boss was very charming to individuals, almost too nice, whilst later, gossiping and spreading nasty rumours. Other traits of the ‘Queen Bee’ bitchy boss include being dishonest, micro-managing, manipulative and two-faced.

I have had female bosses shout and scream at individuals for making minor mistakes, which is ironic, considering just how incompetent some managers are. From relying on other staff members to carry out the bulk of the work and later taking credit for it, to manipulating situations to her, or a favoured co-worker’s advantage, all created a toxic atmosphere. This kind of game play and favouritism is unbelievably unhealthy for everyone involved and makes for a very unhappy working environment.

The Machiavellian Manager

Possibly my worst manager, let’s call him Mick* made me cry a number of times! On first impressions this guy was funny, charming and incredible nice. However, as time got on, his mask started to slip. This guy was not only verbally incredibly aggressive, but would swear, shout and publicly mock and humiliate staff members for making minor mistakes. Providing unachievable targets and tasks, and belittling comments can seriously take its toll! At the time I was 17 and incredibly naïve with regards to working life. It sounds silly, but I had no idea you could say ‘no’ to a manager. Whilst still at college I was expected to work shifts at a drop of a hat, although I was already working about 30 + hours a week! This really stressed me out. I remember at one point being called a ‘F@$king Idiot’… amongst other things! A barrage of insults and accumulating incidents eventually plunged my self-esteem to rock bottom. Turn outs this manager got fired with immediate effect.

Karma’s a Bitch.

If you have ever encountered similar treatment, I would love to hear from you. This kind of behaviour doesn’t happen everywhere, there are good people out there. I have met and worked for the most charismatic, honest, trustworthy, hardworking, capable and inspirational managers too. If you can get out of toxic environments, I urge you to do so. The stress, pressure and borderline depression which can occur from nasty bosses and situations can take a toll on health and well-being and it’s really not worth it. From now on, I vow never to tolerate a bitchy, manipulative toxic manager!

 

*These names have been altered to protect the individuals concerned. Many of these names are an accumulation of attributes from several different bosses. Also check out journal articles on ‘queen bee’ bosses!